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Top 10 Reasons Why You Don’t Know What You Will Preach Tomorrow

Our next Top 10 is about the Saturday Night Special. You know where you up all night Saturday night to preach that Sermon on Sunday Morning. Well without further ado, here are the top 10 reasons why you don’t know what you will preach tomorrow. Drum roll please.

10) It was a very difficult week. You had 3 funerals and 10 major illnesses in your church. In addition, it was time for the trustee meeting. No excuses, but time just flew by.

9) Your Momma or very close relative died this week. You are struggling with the realities of living at the same time recognizing the need to preach.

8 ) You got sick. You didn’t recognize that you needed an antibiotic until half way through the week. It is hard to prepare a sermon with a fever of 102.5.

7) No Sermon Planning. Some preachers preach in series, some preachers plan the year in advance. And some preachers go by the seat of the pants. My guess is that you go by the seat of the pants.

6) Not Enough Bible Study (reading). Some preachers only read the Bible when they are trying to come up with a sermon. Those who regularly read the Bible usually have tons of things to preach about.

5) Not Enough Interaction With The People. Interacting with people in and outside the congregation will give you a ton of perspectives to bring with you to the scripture. At the very least it gives you a lot of real questions that real people ask.

4) Not Enough Prayer. OK, forgive me for the cliche’, but some prayer, some power, little prayer, little power, no prayer, no power at all.

3) Television is more compelling than preparation – The Real Housewives of Atlanta, The National Championship Game, The NBA Title, or some other television viewing has used up all of the time for preparation. Lord Help Us!

2) Your Favorite Television preacher went off the air – He didn’t pay his television bill so he wasn’t on TBN for you to copy his sermon.

And the number one reason…

1) Late Assignment – The Senior Pastor didn’t tell you you needed to preach until last night.

Top 10 Reasons Your Worship Service Ends At 2:30PM

Thought we might have a little fun with this one. So here is my David Letterman impression:

10) The Spirit moved in a mighty way and the people were energized to do God’s work during the week.

9) Something truly out of the ordinary happened during the week that required additions to the service.

8 ) No one knows who is supposed to do the next part of the service.

7) The announcements are composed as people yell corrections to the greeter who is reading the announcements. You might hear someone say, “No, that’s 5:30PM”. “No, See Deacon Larry.” “No, somebody give me a mic.”

6) All the choirs of the church and the pastor’s friend, who showed up today, have to sing a song.

5) The preacher preaches for an hour and a half. Hey, some Superstar preachers can do it, but most of us can’t preach that long!

4) You take up the offering 3 times. One time for tithe, one time for offering, and one time for the building fund. Or for the Theologically inclined, “Once for the Father, once for the Son, and once for the holy Spirit.”

3) You Have A 1 Hour Praise and Worship Service.

Sidebar ->
I have a problem with naming this “song service”, praise and worship. Why? Becuase it ain’t the only part of the service that is praise and worship. Reading the scripture together is praise and worship. Leaving an offering is praise and worship. Interacting with the sermon vocally and internally is praise and worship. And yes singing during this time of the service is praise and worship.


2) The Scripture Reader and Hymn Announcer Both Thought That they better preach the sermon they working on because the people ain’t gonna hear them preach again for 7 months. Somebody tell these folks to read the scripture, announce the hymn and sit down!

1) The worship service ain’t longer, it just started 45 minutes late.